But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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