In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
