i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
