Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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