he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
