I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
