Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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