He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
