I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
another moral hangover. fuck.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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