That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
a search helicopter?!
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Still dying that you shit outside
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
A bitchslap is in order.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
