Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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