no, he came in my armpit
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
