nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize