Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
