I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
