dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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