HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
