Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
