Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
