I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
