so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
