PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize