last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
