new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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