I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Less talking, more tequila
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
