The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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