My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
