my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize