VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
