he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
