It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
