Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I can tuck mytits in my pants
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize