2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
