R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
