Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize