If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
