There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
