My room smells like vodka and shame
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize