i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
