yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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