why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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