he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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