he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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