ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I think I sprained my soul last night
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
