too bad you live with your parents still
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
bring money and cleavage
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
