I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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