There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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