I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
