Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
