there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Dignity is for republicans.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
