dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I think I just sharted jello shots
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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