The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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