Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
