11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
