Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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