She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have tasted many bathrooms
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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